I think we all saw this coming. In the aftermath of Frozen’s success, Disney has finally made the decision to focus its entire company on the 2013 hit smash. On April 1st, Disney will be changing its company name to “Frozenia” to better accommodate the overwhelming demand for the film.
“It’s time for a change,” says Disney Chairperson Mark Peterson, “no one can relate to a park called Walt Disney. But they can relate to Elsa and Anna.”
The theme park will also be making some much needed changes. The Dumbo ride is being replaced with the Olaf ride. The Cinderella castle will be named the Snow Queen castle. Perhaps the biggest change will be the removal of Tomorrowland, for the much more relevant, Tomorrow Ice Land. Other changes include Splash Hans, Space Kristoff and the Hall of Famous Frozen Characters.
“No one watches Disney for Dumbo or Winnie the Pooh,” explains Peterson, “they crave the Frozen madness and we are going to give it to them.”
So far just the mention of Disney’s complete and total focus on Frozen has caused a spike in their stock. Disney, in reply, is going to change their upcoming movie lineup to reflect the big business change. We should be seeing Frozen 2, Frozen 3, and Frozen 4: The Return and Frozen Sing Along, which features the hit song, “Let it Go” looped for two hours.
“Seriously,” pleads Peterson, “when you pander to an eight year-old audience, you have to do what is best for the company. Frozen is never going to die, and I believe we can ride this out for at least twenty more years.”
The company’s next step? Disney is currently trying to fit their Star Wars and Marvel licenses in Frozen.