The Top Ten Things Non-Video Gamers Are Tired Of Hearing

My previous Top Ten list may have left a bitter taste in the mouth of some people, particularly non-video gamers who do not share my sense of humor. Now, as the proverbial olive branch, I will show that we video gamers are capable of humility. I’m outlining (with more than a little participation from my non-video gamer wife) what I believe are the top ten things non-video gamers are sick of hearing from their video gamer significant others.

10. I’ll do it later.

All_The_ChoresYou just can’t underestimate a gamer’s capacity to procrastinate. You can bumper sticker that one if you like. It’s not that we don’t want to perform the task asked of us, it’s just that we don’t feel the same urgency for it that you do. Please don’t feel disrespected. To tell the truth, when we tell you that we will do it later, we have every intention of doing it. However, since we are human, those good intentions can sometimes float away when the shiny golden lure catches our attention once again. A gentle reminder before we nosedive into the sofa once again is usually enough to obtain the desired results.

 

 


9. I need to find a save point.

Save_PointWell, it’s true. We can’t just turn the game off. We would lose possibly hours of progress. However, if it’s that important, I suppose we could just find a safe spot to pause or idle the game while we attend to whatever needs to be done. Though, if it’s something that requires powering down the console, such as going to sleep or leaving the house, there’s just no way around it. We have to find a save point before we can shut it off; it’s just the way some games are. Now, there are plenty of games out there that let you save anywhere, so be strategic in your game purchases if you want to surprise us with one. Then, no more excuses!

 

 

 

 


8. Watch me play!

Not_Quality_TimeOkay, perhaps this is not your idea of a fun night, but hey, for a video gamer, this is our way of showing off to our main squeeze. While perhaps not as flashy as skateboard tricks, singing or fancy basketball shots, this is a skill that we’ve spent most of our lives honing. We want to share it with you. With that in mind, don’t be shy about suggesting we keep you company while doing any of your generally solo activities. It could be sitting at the table and chit-chatting while you cook or sitting next to you on the floor of the garage while you work on the car or simply sitting and looking over your shoulder while you’re doing a crossword puzzle.

 

 


7. Hey! Today in the game I…

Bioshock_Unnecessary_InfoWhile we’re most likely fully aware that you have no interest in hearing about our digital exploits, your lack of enthusiasm does nothing to stifle our own. Gaming is more than just some idle fancy to us. It’s a part of our core being, and we’re always eager to share that aspect of our lives with those we love. Even though it doesn’t carry the same importance or relevance as, say, telling you about how our day at work went, I can almost guarantee you that we will speak of our gaming accomplishments with much more enthusiasm. Just a minute or so of humoring is all it really takes, because we have to tell somebody, right? Every human needs a little affirmation once in a while, and a smile and a “good job, hon” goes a long way.

 


6. What? I don’t smell anything.

Halo_BOThis point probably goes the furthest in throwing my fellow video gamers under the bus. And while it certainly will not apply universally across all video gamers, it does apply (sadly) to me. When the game is just that good, we occasionally neglect some of the finer points of grooming. Of course, it may take us a while to admit that there is an issue. Usually, it’s about the time we start seeing little green mushrooms growing out of the holes in our socks. Unfortunate outcomes from this behavior may include: lack of success when seeking intimacy, stained clothes, smelly furniture, people not wanting to stand near us and snide remarks among those same people. We don’t usually think of the consequences of poor hygiene when we’re going for the high score, but hey, think of all the money you’re saving on soap, shampoo, and conditioner!


5. Just X more minutes.

Reality_Worst_GameSlightly different than needing to find a save point, this originates from the days of our childhood, when we would try just about anything to squeeze in a little extra game time. Our mother or father were quite insistent that we turn off our games and attend to reality, but we had none of it. In fact, I’m fairly certain it’s in situations like these during our childhood that many of us video gamers learned how to haggle. It doesn’t really matter what concerns await outside of the game either. It could be needing to leave to go somewhere, going into the kitchen or dining room for dinner, doing household chores or even going to sleep. This is especially true in instances where one is grinding (fighting battles for the sole purpose of leveling up, farming money, or getting item drops). Then, the line is something like, “Three more good fights, and I’ll level up. Give me just ten more minutes.”

 


4. I bought a new {insert name of game-related purchase here}.

Scumbag_GamerThis could arguably be number one on some non-video gamer significant others’ lists. The size of a video gamer’s collection often fluctuates, but rarely does it spend a long period in steady decline. Only under the most dire financial circumstances would we part with our games. Even then there is a pecking order. The games that would fetch the highest price are often the games we are most loathe to part with. However, most of us understand that if we do not keep our video game spending habits in check, it can surely cause those same dire financial circumstances to occur. That’s why it’s nice to have an accountability partner–like you. Budgeting can save a relationship that experiences this problem. Setting aside a certain amount of money per month that can be spent on games or game-related purchases can do wonders. It’s what my wife and I do, and we’re both quite happy with the arrangement.

 

 


3. Doggone sassin’ frassin’ flippin’ dang game!!

Cussing_GamerYou just sit down with a nice book, a glass of tea and a warm throw blanket. Then the love of your life releases loud, obnoxious (and sometimes expletive-laced) shouting noises from their spot in front of the television or computer. It echoes through the entire house. Suddenly the environment for reading has turned to mush. What has caused the apple of your eye to create these abysmal sounds? Why, they’re losing at the game, of course. It could be because of a perceived mistake on the part of someone they’re playing co-op with, or simply their own bad luck, but a gamer seldom blames themselves for their mishaps. In many cases, this may result in rage-quitting (becoming so enraged with a game one quickly and wrathfully shuts it down). I really have no proper advice for this particular vice, as I’m frequently guilty of it myself, but be prepared to mend a fractured ego if it happens.


2. … … … I’m sorry, what?

Gamer_IgnoreThe flip side of number three, where you can’t get a moment’s peace because of the expertly-chained hyper-combo of rage-fueled bellowing in the house, some non-video gamers are potentially even more annoyed by silence. In particular, you’re annoyed by the thunderous silence we are capable of producing when you are trying to get our attention. If you’re lucky enough to get a response, it’s usually “uh-huh,” just because we are so engrossed with what we are doing. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve accused my wife of not informing me of something. Then she tells me that she told me while I was playing video games–several days ago. When she tells me that I even responded in the affirmative when she told me, that certainly twists the knife in the wound. Well, I’ve made an effort to avert my gaze from the game I’m playing in these situations to moderate success. I’m sure you can achieve success in your relationship as well. Don’t be afraid to march right up to us and put a hand on our shoulder.

 


1. Shh!!

Angry_Girl_GamerI don’t know a person living that doesn’t experience having their hair on the back of their neck stand up when they’ve been shushed. However, we gamers occasionally lose our tact. When we’re gazing at a game we’ve been immersed in for hours or  when we’re watching (and listening to) a cut-scene in which critical plot details are being revealed, we lose all sense of importance regarding the outside world. So, when you enter the room and attempt dialogue, our knee-jerk reaction is to quickly go “Shh!” or even wave our hand at you in a terse manner. It’s not personal. Now, some game developers have become smart, and have given us the ability to pause during cut-scenes, so you have a sporting chance of not receiving rudeness.


 

So, there you have it. We video gamers have our flaws, like anyone, but believe me when I tell you that your gamer cherishes you. Games are just a big part of our life. With the rise of social networking, online co-op and new indie developers popping up all the time, video gamer culture is more widespread and easily accessible than ever before. When we were kids, there was no internet, and co-op was limited to two-player offline 99.99% of the time. Now that video games have leaped into the mainstream, we feel a sense of identity that many of us may have lacked as children. It’s always nice to be able to participate in the culture one has chosen for oneself. Today a video gamer can do that with relative ease. This list was both easy and difficult to create, but I sincerely hope you’ve enjoyed reading it, be you gamer or non-gamer.

Happy gaming (or not), and God bless you all.

In case you happened to miss the boat the first time around, you can read the first list here: The Top Ten Things Video Gamers Are Tired Of Hearing

Steve Schoen

Live to game; game to live. Nominal Christian from birth; practicing Christian since 2002. I love to talk all things gaming, from console classics to Dungeons & Dragons.

8 Comments

  1. Hannah on September 25, 2014 at 8:57 pm

    I like these lists, but honestly I’m not really a fan of the paragraph long explanations. Is it really necessary? Maybe I just get distracted easily and can’t stay focused so I can’t read everything, which is read because I still enjoy reading books. But I think maybe it should be kept to two to three sentences maximum for each picture.

    • Hannah on September 25, 2014 at 8:58 pm

      which is weird*

    • Steve Schoen on September 28, 2014 at 5:08 am

      Not everyone gleans the same understanding about a given point from a few simple sentences. Some people are graphical/visual learners, able to distinguish meaning and main idea through pictures, charts, or graphs accompanied by little to no writing. Then there are textual/verbal learners, who thrive when given copious amounts of detail, and they either find illustration largely unnecessary, or prefer to concoct their own. My format caters to both sides.

      Glad you enjoy my lists. Stay tuned for the next one.

  2. Crystalline on September 25, 2014 at 6:20 pm

    Oops. I’m guilty of most of these. Haha. Great article!

  3. Thomas Martin on September 25, 2014 at 1:03 am

    I’m offended by this post. I demand a public apology, the resignation of Steve, and a sacrifice of 30 first-born children. Failure to meet my conditions will result in a diabolical plan hatched by my crazy Uncle Paul, which involves throwing starved chickens at all members of GUG.

    *Disclaimer – welcome to the Internet. This comment is sarcasm that pokes fun at the overreaction at Steve’s last Top 10 article.

    • Michael M. on September 25, 2014 at 4:47 pm

      No Thomas, I took that very seriously and I didn’t read your disclaimer. I’m hiding right now from those starved chickens….

  4. Michael M. on September 24, 2014 at 11:49 pm

    Great post! I can relate to most of these, except #6, and not to the severity of spending hours without saving. I save my game constantly…

    Also, I personally have got used to living with my non-gaming wife, so I accept the fact that there are times where I WANT to play and not do dishes or whatever, but you have to so I just press pause and do what I have to do. Or just accept that I can’t play that day, and save it for another day.

    I will say this in defense for us gamers. When Saturday morning/afternoon comes along, I’m making up for those lost hours. Darn skippy.

    • Steve Schoen on September 25, 2014 at 12:34 am

      Amen, brother.

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