Goat Simulator Review (Xbox One)

GoatSimulatorBox_1Developer: Double Eleven

Coffee Stain Studios
Genre: Simulation, Casual, Indie
Price: $9.99




Content Warning

Spiritual: There is a section in the Goatville map that has the satanic pentagon and you can sacrifice humans or goats for the Devil Goat Mutator, which allows the player to suck nearby objects into a ball. This also changes the goat’s appearance to black, orange eyes and six horns.
Violence: The game is full of violence, not anything too gory, but violent nonetheless. For example, there is a bloodstained goat fighting pit where you can fight another goat. You can headbutt humans, get run over, get attacked by “Ninja Turtles,” or create mayhem by wrecking objects throughout the level.
Language: In the PC versions of the game, there are some examples of crude language. The F and S bombs are dropped in some dialogue and a group of protesters are holding signs that say “No Penis Shaped Foods.”  In the Android, iOS and Xbox versions, these signs have been replaced with “No Pointy Foods” signs. Explicit content can also be turned off in the settings of the PC version.
Sexual: “No Penis Shaped Foods,” was the closest thing I’ve experienced, but again this can be turned off on the PC versions and does not appear at all in the other versions.
Drugs/Alcohol: There is a mini game in the PC version called “Drug Wars,” where you take the role of a drug dealer. I haven’t found it in the Xbox version, but have seen it in the PC version.



Goat Simulator is a third person action “simulator” where you take control of a goat. When you boot up the Xbox One version, there are two maps to choose from. One of the maps is Goatville, which is pretty much what you’d think it is: a giant village where you goat can run around aimlessly causing mayhem to protestors, other goats, the game’s developers, and hillbillies with fast cars.


The second map is Goat City Bay. This map is a little larger than Goatville and is set in an urban area along the bay. The map also includes a carnival where you can ride the rides to your heart’s content—barring you falling off first!. Some other things you can do include: speeding up the rides, act like a mechanical bull, play arcade games, take a boat ride,  and my personal favorite, headbutt Deadmau5 off the top of a hotel.


There are a variety of mutators in the game to change your goat’s special abilities. To unlock these mutators, you have to do a variety of challenges in the game. These challenges can be completed by either collecting golden Goat Trophies that are scattered throughout the maps, or completing achievements. An example of an achievement would be not attacking anyone for five minutes. This unlocks the “Angel Goat” mutator which decreases falling speeds. The mutators definitely make exploring the maps a lot more fun!
Also in the Xbox One version of the game are LAN multiplayer elements. Now you and up to three goat buddies can trek and cause mayhem around the city together! Alternatively, you can settle for a time trial, race around the city, capture the flag, bicycle race, or a nice relaxing game of goat hockey. Yes, goat hockey.


Multiplayer Modes

Time Trial: Try to accumulate the highest score within 60 seconds.
Race: Race through checkpoints and be the first one to reach the finish.
Capture the Flag: Be the first to capture 3 of your opponent’s flags.
Bicycle Race: Race through checkpoints while trying to maintain balance on a bicycle.
Goat Hockey: Slide around the arena and try to score the most goals on your opponent with 5 minutes.



For a game as quirky and chaotic as Goat Simulator, you don’t really want to stop amidst the nonsense to appreciate the scenery. The game’s visuals aren’t bad at all, but nothing to be impressed about. They look kind of last-gen, but then again if visuals is a factor in this game for you, you probably shouldn’t be buying it in the first place.


Part of the fun of Goat SImulator is that the game isn’t supposed to be taken seriously. The game is full of bugs and they were intentionally left in because the developers “found it hilarious.” That beings said, you  can expect a bunch of zany unexpected  nonsense to happen! I was running down the road in the Goatville map and got hit by a truck. My goat was still acting as if it was getting hit by a truck long after the truck was gone!
The soundtrack for the game is a nice compliment. The music is fun and happy music which really ties in with the whole atmosphere of the game. The sounds themselves in the game also work really well, which is good for a game that has a button that you press to “baaaaa!


If this game was a major title that was supposed to be taken seriously, it would probably get a horrible rating from me and many other critics alike. The stuff that makes Goat Simulator so good is the same stuff that makes other games bad. The difference here is that the game does what it is supposed to do. The game is supposed to be silly and full of bugs, glitches and whatever else you may find wrong with it. The whole game was a joke that is still going strong and funny to this day.


The Bottom Line



Robert Dever Jr.

Born and raised in New Jersey. Currently attending school to pursue a career in the medical field. When not working or in school, I enjoy gaming and anything involving sports, dogs, nature or cars.

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