My husband’s business has really been taking off these past few months. Just through word-of-mouth advertising, he and my brother-in-law have managed to get to the point where they must turn down work because they are too busy. This is both a blessing and a curse.
While it’s great the love of my life is succeeding as a business owner at a relatively young age, this success has been taking him away from my son and I, and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit bitter.
Between post-partum depression and trying to balance assignments, projects, and being a new mom, I’ve felt a little out of sorts. And with my husband being gone from 6am to at the very least 9pm (one night he didn’t return from a job until 2am…), I’ve found myself with quite a bit of alone time, especially when my newborn is taking his long growth-spurt naps.
Being an introvert, I usually cherish quality time with me, myself, and I. I love my friends and family very much, and enjoy being with them, but I find myself feeling drained after too much time with others. Most of the time I just need to hang back and enjoy the sounds of silence. However, these days I find these sounds a little less enjoyable.
I’ve been blessed with a queue of loved ones all clamoring to babysit my new son and to spend time with both of us. Between my best friends, parents, and in-laws, I haven’t been truly on my own for more than one day a week, which has done wonders for my post-partum blues. Despite all of this, though, I still can’t help but feel alone in my husband’s consistent absence. He’s working hard for his new family, perhaps overworking, but such is our penance for the original sin.
On the sixth day of creation, God created man in his image. Upon seeing that Adam, his creation, was lonely, He created woman, Eve, to keep him company. Since then, for the most part, human beings have continued to be a social lot, seeking out husbands and wives and starting families.
While these relationships are important for our health and well being, and fellowship with other believers helps to strengthen us, often we find ourselves isolated from these people. It can be devastating. If we’re not careful, we come to depend too much on others for peace and self-worth. I’ve found myself falling into that mindset.
Our number one priority should be a relationship with the Father. By investing so much into other people, we can lose sight of that. Sometimes loneliness can be a call to spend more time building that relationship. We all need some quiet time with God. Even Jesus needed time away from others to be with the Father.
Luke 5:15-16 says, “Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and be healed of their sicknesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Jesus acquired many followers during his time among people. The more he served people, the more they sought him. But Jesus made it a priority to make time to be alone with God.
When we’re alone with the Lord, it’s the perfect time to meditate on His word. We should take this time to read and re-read scripture, memorize verses, and ask the Lord all our tough questions. God is always with us, so we really are never truly alone; but feeling the pull of loneliness helps to remind us we should be seeking His presence.
So perhaps my husband’s blossoming business taking his time away from me is a way to help me realize I may have been putting my relationship with him before my relationship with God, and I need to spend more alone time with Him. Sure, it’s important for the three of us, mommy, daddy, and baby, to spend time together as a family, but it’s most important for the three of us to spend time alone with the Father.
Have you been feeling lonely, too? Maybe it’s God calling you to spend some time with Him. This feeling of disconnect could be just what you need to build your connection to God.