It is increasingly rare to find people who wait until marriage for sex. It is truly a sad thing as the Bible tells us pretty plainly on God’s stance about sex before marriage. But, the bigger question is why isn’t sex before marriage ok? Once again the staff at GUG have teamed up to tackle this question and we all hope and pray it helps someone learn something new.
The Bible has a lot to say about sex. Simply put, sex outside of marriage between people is not okay- and not just because the Bible said so. Sex is a wonderful, and marvelous thing that ties people together physically and emotionally. People naturally feel uneasy when they hear that their partner has been with another person before. It brings fear of competition, am I as good as their last partner? Did I please them as much as they pleased me? These doubts are present even in married couples at times, but they aren’t nearly as detrimental as as married couples should be able to communicate with their husband or wife to further their relationship together. These different factors are contributions I think as to why God has said, and this is personal paraphrase- “Do not do the Do because I said you can do it later the way I designed it to work” (Where “I” is God).
God has not laid out a proper way to get married. God’s stated explicitly and implicitly that Marriage is a covenant, a vow between a man and a woman, one that men and women can make with multiple people, but it is ill advised by many to go beyond 1 partner. Sex is a gift from God, and I can’t wait till I sit down with my beloved and we draw up the covenant that God will hold us too. What comes after that is between Me, Her, and God.
Michael Pyatt Jr.
Here’s the deal, the Bible makes it clear that we should not have sex before marriage. It also says when we are married that we remain faithful to one another. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” (NLT) And if you REALLY want to get a good meaning of sex and marriage, please go read 1 Corinthians 7…
Now that I have used the word, let’s take a different approach. Let’s say you do have sex before marriage. What joy does that bring? “Yay! I had sexual relations! I feel so good”, is what you might feel one moment, but what happens after that. I like the way rapper Andy Mineo put it in his song “Tug of War”. He says, “…My girl coming over later, you know what’s about to happen Then after some smashing I’m sitting there asking If eternity in Hell is worth some moments of this satisfaction?”
Sure we get caught up in that satisfaction, but we don’t think about the consequences. What if you get pregnant? Are you ready for that responsibility? “But what about condoms and birth control?” That stuff isn’t 100%. You could still get pregnant. Then you’ll start thinking about that “A” word. What if you’re a good person who people can trust and you get caught? Your credibility can take a hit in the community. What if your relationship is going good? Sex could complicate and something that was once good can, become a nightmare.
So no, I don’t believe sex before marriage is okay? Not only does the Bible say it’s not okay, but quite frankly, the risks outweigh the reward. And don’t even let me talk about how sex was meant for something good in the eyes of God, and how we, the world, have destroyed it and made it an “activity”. That’s another topic for another day….
It would be ‘OK’ for a person who has no knowledge of God and therefore would not be directly rebelling against him, however Romans 1:20 and 3:10-12ff show us that such a person doesn’t exist. All have inherent knowledge of their creator, and so sex before marriage is rebellion against the almighty God and his ordained purpose of marriage, sex and its boundaries.
Even from a purely secular (if that even exists)perspective, such as in anthropology, we are seeing the negative effects on relationships and the broader society of premarital sex. Therefore (as I suspect may be the common answer here) sex before marriage is not ok in any sense.
The subject of premarital sex is one of the more touchy subjects among young/single people deal with in conjunction with Christianity. The question of if it’s permissible is raised over and over again; and I think that we already know the answer. The fact that we don’t like the answer that we already have is, I believe, why we may be asking around and looking for another one. This is a pretty straightforward issue in the Bible: “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” (Hebrews 13:4). You can find similar passages in 1 Corinthians 6, Galatians 5, and Jude 1 that include fornication in lists of things that will keep people from inheriting the kingdom of God and send them to Hell. Those scriptures put fornication right alongside of sins like murder, idolatry, and witchcraft. I could list several more examples here; the Bible does have a lot to say on this subject.
Sadly, I know some people would rather stick their fingers in their ears and pretend they can’t hear this truth when they’re having it shared with them. I know people who know God to an extent and want to know Him more, but because they’re afraid that He wants them to stop having a “good time” they deliberately run from Him. God doesn’t ask us to do anything without purpose, and many times the things He requires us to stay away from are things that are bad for us anyway.
When someone fornicates, has sex outside of marriage, they open themselves up to a host of problems; more than what you may immediately think. Yes, if someone is careful they can significantly reduce their chances of sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies, though it is only a reduced and not an eliminated risk, by practicing “safe sex” techniques. These techniques however do not protect from the psychological, emotional, and spiritual dangers of sex out of marriage. A young man can forget that he is designed to love and protect women as he uses them in attempts to satisfy desires whilst leaving himself empty and chasing futility. A young woman may feel disgraced and humiliated as she’s abandoned for another sexual partner which can make her self-esteem linked to her sexual activity. A person can pick up negative habits or behaviors from a sexual partner that may have very serious spiritual roots and implications. These are broad statements and much more could be said on this subject.
God has designed sex to be a great thing when in the confines of marriage. We find several scriptures like Matthew 19:6 “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” in the Bible which highlight how once two people become “one flesh” a strong bond is set between them that should not be ripped apart. What a great thing it is to share that closeness in a marriage, but what a horrible thing to get out of a one-night-stand. In 1 Corinthians 6:15 – 16 Paul is talking about knowing that our bodies are members of Christ but also says that if someone sleeps with a harlot he and she become one flesh. He asks then how can a member of Christ be a harlot, and answers “God forbid”. This implies that someone who links themselves with someone else via fornication can no longer be in Christ and takes on the sinful nature of the other person. That’s part of the reason why we should not be unequally yoked with, or bound to, unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). However I believe these concepts can work the other way around as well. If someone yokes themselves with a believer through marriage and those two members of Christ come together as one would this not make them both stronger as Christians? I believe this is how God intended marriage to work and He intends sex to be a bonding tool in marriage.
We’re all a little nerdy here and Geeks Under Grace, so let me give you a techy analogy. God has given us this gift of intercourse and we want to treat it like a new smartphone. We want to root/jailbreak it to mess with all the factory settings. We overclock the CPU and uninstall what we think is ‘bloatware’. We may even use peripherals and batteries that we got from sources other than the manufacturer. We do whatever we like disregarding the fact that we are specifically warned against it thinking that we know better. What happens though when we install a corrupt ROM? Or we burn up our processor? Or we delete a necessary file? Or the cheap battery we buy on Amazon blows up on us? If we were really talking about a smartphone we would just learn from our mistakes, go out and buy a new phone, and start over; but we don’t get to “start over” when it comes to many things in life. There may always be forgiveness of sins offered to us through Christ, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be any consequences for our actions. There are some things that once they are done they cannot be undone.
The question shouldn’t be “Is sex before marriage okay?” but rather “Is sex before marriage something that’s going to hurt me and pull me away from God?”.
“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:18
At this point of the article what can I tell you that you have not heard already? Sex before marriage is not ok. Let alone what the bible says, let us look at some issues with it from a practical stand point. Unwanted pregnancy which leads to many single parents, spreading of STD’s (which would never of happened had people not been sleeping around outside of marriage), abortions (compare the amount of married couples getting abortions to non married couples), the many emotional issues (whether it is a man becoming detached and treating women like objects or women becoming attached to a man because they had sex), it clouds your judgement on someone and causes you to stay in a relationship you probably would of jumped out of had it not been for the sex. The list goes on and on. I cannot recall many men or women, living for God, who say “I really wish I slept with more people before I got married” or “I wish we had sex before marriage so we knew what each other was like in the sack”.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments.
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