How to Be a Perfect Christian
Wondering how to get ahead in your Christian walk? The Babylon Bee is here to help with tips on how to live your life in the spiritual fast lane!
The Babylon Bee is an outlet for Christian news satire, dedicated to sharing quality stories with the world. Renowned for its popular articles, the Bee has produced many gems over the years, such as the ever insightful “MTV Apologizes For Briefly Airing Something Other Than Mindless Trash“and “Pastor Pulls Back Muscle While Attempting To Unpack Heavy Bible Text.” If you have yet to discover the Babylon Bee, you can check out the website here.
Geeks Under Grace recently interviewed the Babylon Bee’s editor, Kyle Mann, who told us about their first book, How to Be a Perfect Christian. Because Kyle is awesome, he had a copy sent to me in exchange for an honest review. I am a long-time fan of the Bee, so I was excited to dive into this satire-filled book. What I found surprised and delighted me.
Editor’s Note: Kyle Mann is a GUG contributor.
Violence: The reader is encouraged to deck sinners with Bibles. This would not be a big deal if it were not explicitly suggested to to use a study Bible.
Sexual Content: None.
Drug/Alcohol Use: Alcoholic drinks, smoking, and drugs are mentioned briefly and a clip-art picture of a beer bottle is seen. However, these are only in reference to heathens and false converts.
Spiritual Content: This is a guide to becoming a perfect Christian, so….
Language/Crude Humor: None.
Other Negative Content: None.
Positive Content: This book is cleaner than the Bible (especially the Song of Solomon).
I grew up in church; I went to Sunday school and sang in the choir. Then I attended a Bible College; I memorized a ton of verses and got my theology on. I’ve even visited the Holy Land Experience, the theme park that is a discount version of the land of Israel! Basically, I have been around the spiritual block. I’ve seen all the things, including Christian satire like this book. In spite of this, I had no idea what I was missing until I read How to Be a Perfect Christian.
Christian self-helps have always been the most helpful self-help books ever (especially the name-it-and-claim-it ones), but this book surpasses them all in helpfulness. It has shown me that I have been going about this whole “Christian living” thing all wrong. I thought the Christian walk was all about glorifying God, but boy, this book sure set me on the straight and narrow path — the one that leads to my own glory!
Because the Babylon Bee is such a dignified and well-respected news site, I knew I could trust everything I read. Even though they mention the word “sin” like once, I got through it and found that the book was still super encouraging. If you enjoy reading Babylon Bee articles, you will enjoy reading their book, which is full of brand new content. Like their website, the book is informative and enlightening about important issues, like church parking lots and Instagram pics.
Something I really appreciated was the extremely formal style of the writing. I was not forced to grin, chuckle, or guffaw-out-loud at any of the content. Not even once — or multiple times. It was easy to be spiritually mature by remaining completely solemn throughout the entire reading process.
As someone with the spiritual gift of perfectionism, I also benefitted from the Holiness Progress Tracker, which recorded my level of holiness at the end of each chapter. This book is full of helpful tidbits like that, addressing just about every area of the Christian life. The walk-through of the mega-church was SO reassuring, the advice on how to vote made me feel SO patriotic, and the guidelines for speaking Christianese were SO ground-breaking.
I have to admit, there were times I began to wonder if the writers were being sarcastic. But then they dropped legit quotes from Christian leaders to prove their authenticity and devotion to sanctification and exegesis (my favorite quote is pictured above). Besides, any twinge of conviction I may have felt could only be from Satan himself, because God loves me too much to work through satire to reveal hypocrisy! In ten short chapters, which are definitely on par with the Ten Commandments, this book altered the way I view the great American Christendom.
Thank God this book saved me from spiritual monotony (#blessed). I’m not saying your spiritual life will be incomplete without this book, but I am highly suggesting you get yourself a copy so you don’t end up on the low end of the holiness scale along with Judas.
+ Presents a unique way of looking at modern Christianity.
- Satire overload. As with a stand-up comedian who has been standing up too long, readers may want to take a break from the jokes after a few chapters and come back for more later.